Friday, August 22, 2008

Got Milk?

I do. A whole bunch of it. And my Little Man is just eating it up.

It seems the demons of sleep deprivation are still at it. No, I'm not here to complain to anyone about the "normal" sort of sleep deprivation most new mamas and papas have. My new dude is giving me plenty of time to sleep. He sleeps a couple of 2-3 stretches each day (and night!), which is more than either of my previous two babes have.

No, my problem is still that I cannot sleep. He's asleep and I'm laying there with my mind racing. Maybe I just need to write a list. Maybe I'm just really excited. And maybe I am losing my mind. At any rate, sleep isn't really happening. Hopefully, it will all work out.

Wanna hear about something else I got besides Milk?

Asteroids. Yep, you heard me. Asteroids.

Think pushing. Think Tucks Medicated Pads. Now think of the location in your body one would jump to if I said the biblical word for donkey.

You got it. Asteroid.

Why? Why do I refer to them this way you ask?

Location. Number one.

And next - because they both erupt into a fiery hell when exposed to the atmosphere.

You know, I thought with my previous two births that I experienced hemorrhoids. Nope. Those were just little tags of skin that took care of themselves and were occasionally a pain (in the ass, hee hee) when trying to decide if one was done pooping.

I now have something alive down there. It burns. It itches. It makes you think you have a piece of poo still hanging out of your butt when you're sure you're done. It's (they are) huge. My husband says, "Welcome to getting old." Yeah. Thanks old dude. Now I whilst sit here and steam while my nether regions are being lit on fire and swelling.

So I have decided my best bet is to invest heavily in witch hazel and find a donut.


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