I couldn't do it.....

But I have a very good reason.

Exhibit A:

Yep. That doesn't look like my husband's sweater, or a shawl, or the pair of socks I need to finish.

I got bored knitting those things. Really. I was actually NOT knitting because I didn't feel like knitting those items and I knew I had 2 things in my mind that I really wanted to cast on. (The other is a pair of longies from that yarn I just dyed.)

This is a hat for the son of a friend of mine. She lives in the big city, so I don't see her much. But she is coming to visit next week with her little dude, so I figured I better start and finish this hat I promised to make for her. She has little overalls in her favorite team's colors for the little guy and wanted a hat to match. Voila.

It is actually almost done right now. That picture is from a few hours ago.

I know, I know. I said "nothing new" and "nothing not in my queue". What can I say? Knitters are fickle.

I Have No Will Power

I just bought more yarn. Pink yarn. Can you think of a reason I might buy pink yarn? At least I will finally have something I am excited to knit.

As a result of my efforts this year, I have "earned" the above badge - and a $20 gift certificate. Which will be used to buy purple yarn (probably this week).

Honey, for the 1st time ever, I am handing control of the checkbook over to you. ;)

Quickie Friday

No, not *that* kind of quickie, sheesh.

Although, as married business goes, I think planning a day a week to engage in the sacramental act of matrimony gives both parties involved something to look forward to. Just sayin'.

Randomness:

** I have finally joined the sleeves and body of the sweater that will never die, aka The Husband Sweater, all on one needle. 15 stitches from each sleeve and 30 stitches from the body have been placed on waste yarn to graft the underarms later. That leaves 470 stitches on the needles. Four hundred seventy. Each Round. Howy cwap.

** Today is the first official day of me having all-day-sickness of this pregnancy. I am trying to look at the bright side (yes, there is a reason for "morning sickness") which is that my body and my baby are doing extremely well if I am feeling sick. It is a sign that the hormones are all turned on and the baby is growing well. Oh, that and I am now in for a 15 lb. weight loss over the next two months. I've got it to lose, so I guess it's fine. Although in a "professional" opinion, one should not be losing weight AT ALL during pregnancy. Previous pregnancies tell me I will anyway. I always do.

** I hate to share this, but maybe it will help someone else feel more normal if the truth is out there in print.

I have not showered in 6 days. I look like hell. While I was sleeping last night, I finally realized that there is a very special smell about me. I didn't even bother getting dressed yesterday and even though it is noon today I still have yet to get dressed today.

Having toddlers does not help. I cannot get 1/2 an hour just to run some hot water over me and be alone. Someone always needs something and it seems my needs, no matter how basic, are getting ignored.

** I have not left my house, even to walk outside, in 5 days.

This is probably a good thing if you consider the previous point.

** Okay, honestly, while in the midst of typing this my husband requested some food at work. So now I have left the house. But it wasn't pretty. Let me paint you a picture:

I made his food and packed it up. I called and informed him I would not be entering the building and he would be required to venture to my vehicle to retrieve his lunch/dinner.

My first time out of the house and I have on: a pair of winter boots, calf length, untied with no socks; a baggy pair of cloth black pants; a tie-dyed men's 2XL Hanes V-neck undershirt (I can't believe I just typed that); and a dried-snot-covered, machine-knit, too small to button over my boobs cardigan/sweater. Really. Oh, and hair that had been unbrushed for 6 days. But I pu it in a pony-tail. That's like a shower? Right?

AND I have to get a pack of diapers out of my husband's truck (that he was supposed to bring in before he left).

I get to the county building my husband works in and pull up to his truck. I look awful. I put my car in park, take out the keys, and approach the truck. Of course, OF COURSE, one of the county maintainence guys who plows the roads or something is standing RIGHT THERE, shoveling snow off the walkway. Ugh. Great. But I need the diapers. He smiles politely and waves. I smile back. I think he's trying to hide a laugh. I hope he doesn't know who's truck this is.

I drive around to the other side of the building and park in between the cop cars. Geez there are a lot of them here today. I call my husband and he says he'll be right out. Mr. Polite snow shoveler is now on this side of the building. I avoid eye contact at all costs.

My husband finally makes it out, takes his lunch, kisses me, and says, "Oh my Gosh! Get the heck outta here. You look like hell!", cracks a crooked grin, and laughs while taking a look at the guy shoveling the snow. I laugh and say, "I told you so," kiss him back and drive off.

Totally embarrassing.

** If I had a D-cup bra before my first pregnancy, was a DD pregnant, nursed in an F, started the next pregnacy (#2) in a DD, was an F pregnant, and nursed in an H-cup, got pregnant with #3 while still nursing, was an I-cup while pregnant, and am currently nursing him in an L-cup and am pregnant again (#4) --- I ask you, are there any letters in the alphabet left for me???

In which God asks me to submit to His will.....

.....again.

Time to think of names again.

Mowing the Lawn

My husband and I "mow the lawn" occasionally at our house. In the event that we need to keep the subject matter PG, this is terminology we can use without the kids being any the wiser....or other peoples kids if in mixed company.

Not that we talk about mowing the lawn often or with people we don't or do know. We're not perverts. Just every now and then, especially with close friends (mostly my close friends and I talking alone) the subject comes up.

So at our house it's "mowing the lawn". If you're not following, I'm not talking about grass or any outdoor activity (although some people, somewhere, probably do consider this an outdoor activity). When I talk of the "fruits" of our gardening.....I don't mean flowers, even though we call one of our children Flower. I mean kids. You get it now.

Ok.

So, my husband and I decided to mow the lawn. The babies were asleep in our bed, and the big kid was downstairs playing video games. We settled on the babies room. It was empty and convenient.

We learned a few things:

1) We are not as young as we once were.
2) Carpet sucks.
3) We really like the cushioning of our bed.

We also learned why we hate toys that talk. Case in point.

My husband's mother bought this for our Flower for her first Christmas. We were going to throw it out, but we kept it around. She never played with it. It's been almost 3 years.

My Lovey really likes this toy. It says things like, "Green Hand." "Blue Ear." See the picture? You get it. It says it's body parts when you press them. When it's in the "music" mode it plays songs, etc.

When you press it's tummy it says, "Tummy".

So, we're mowing the lawn. On the HARD floor, which really hurts. Trying really hard to be real quiet. Out of nowhere, the little dog says, "Yellow Foot."

I laugh. My husband laughs. We continue.

No one touches the toy. A few minutes later......

Out. Of. Nowhere.

"You're my friend!"

Now let me tell you, I was almost in tears at this point, I was laughing so hard. I also noticed that my lower back was screaming at me to get up.

Still, must go on.

Out of nowhere, the lawn mower stops. I didn't even hear anything and I gave my husband what I'm sure was a "wtf are you doing???" kind of look when again an interruption occurred.

He says, "Yes?"

Wobbs says, "Are you guys in there?"

I think, "Here's your sign."

Hubby says, "Yes."

Wobbs - "Are you OK?"

No dude. We're not ok. Go away.

Hubby says, "Go watch a movie."

Wobbs - "Ok. Just checking on you."

Ugh.

Blog Award? Me?

Karyn over at The Teakettle Corner has given me (ME!) a blog award.

I am so humbled. And amazed. This is just the boost I need to keep blogging.

Stay tuned as I give this award away to some of my favorite blogs. And go visit Karyn. :)

~H

Week 2

The menu continues to go well.....as long as I keep up.

Shopping has been a breeze and the leftovers are welcome escapes for trying to figure out what to do for lunch everyday.

I did finally get too busy one day and "skipped" a day of dinner. That is a bad idea, and not something I will repeat. It makes it far too easy to continue skipping dinners as you try to figure out when to make the missed meal.

Wednesday, the day after I skipped said meal, my husband went to the fridge and then gave me a strange look. Then he looked at the calendar, with my menu on it, and looked in the fridge again. Another strange look shot I was (sorry, we're watching Star Wars this morning).

He said, "Hmmm. Where's the mexican rice?" I told him I skipped it....too busy to cook last night.

"Well, why bother having a calendar if we're not going to keep to it? You know I have a calendar up there for work with my schedule on it. What if I decide to just 'skip' a day? Can I do that? *shakes head* Then why can you??"

He had a good point.

~H

When It Rains.....It Dribbles

Yesterday got off to a good start. And then things started to go downhill.

But today, through prayer and an open heart, we see that things are not quite as bad as we first anticipated.

We made it to a 7:30AM (yes, folks, A. M., in the morning) Mass yesterday. We have resolved to make it to Mass every Sunday, even when My Sweetie (that would be the breadwinner) has to work. He gets off at 6AM, takes about an hour to get home.....so this seemed a reasonable answer to get him as much sleep as possible.

We were ON TIME. Really. I am not kidding. I got up at 5:30 to make sure. Mass was, er, different. Not the regular parish we attend. And we now know why we attend the parish we do.

Anyway, when we got back to the truck - nothing. No turn over, a few "eh, eh, uh" noises from the engine, and then nothing again. We called for help. Our dearest friends (and neighbors) came and attempted to jump us (not over us, silly), but nope. We rode home in their van and left our truck at church.

When we got home, the furnace was not working. Yup. I had to go downstairs and give it a stern talking to in order to get it to resume heating our home. Throughout the day it would randomly stop working and I would have to turn it on & off and give it dirty looks in order to get it to work. It also did that all night long. It looks like we are in the market for a new furnace as well.

Just as it seems that it can't get any worse, I decided to start praying. My friend told me about an awesome sermon that was given at her church this Sunday about miracles. I don't remember exactly how she put it. But it was something along the lines of 1) you must go with God 2) you have to admit there is a need 3) you have to give God all you have and 4) you have to expect a miracle (and be patient....that's the hard part).

Well, prayers and patience has paid off. Thinking we would incur a bill around the $2-3K range, we actually got one closer to $1K mark. Blessing #1. Our W-2's arrived in the mail today, which takes me a step closer to filing our tax return. Blessing #2. The furnace continues to run, albeit with much needed strong words and stern faces, but running it is.

The good news is, my husband went to Mass this weekend. With us. As a family. That feels good. I pray that any suffering we endure will be used to complete God's plan for our family and I take comfort in Him - knowing there is nothing we can't handle without Him.

Yesterday I was thinking, "When it rains, it pours." Today I can see that it's just a dribble.

~H

Hold Them Tightly

Today, news......news that I cannot even bear to type came. Friends of ours unexpectedly lost their 7 week old baby last night. He died in his sleep.

As wonderful as the thought of him sitting in God's arms is, I cannot help but feel sorrow and sadness for his family. As a mother, I know there is nothing I can say or do that will make it any easier for his mother to grieve. I pray for God to give them the strength to carry on and to shower them with His love and grace in the months and years to come.

I find myself saddened and joyful today. I am saddened by the news of his passing. He was only a part of this world for such a short time. He gave his family unmeasurable amounts of joy and I know his family, and especially his mother, loved him very much.

I was able to speak with her late in the afternoon yesterday, before any of this had occurred. It was the first time she and I have really been able to talk since I had my son and she hers. She was so happy, so full of that elated euphoria that comes with having a new baby. We consoled each other on the sheer exhaustion of caring for a newborn and a toddler, comparing our situations, her nursing the toddler and the baby, and me just nursing my baby while trying to get my toddler to sleep without that tool. We had such a nice time talking. It was so good to see her and her family and hear that all was going well.

Later that night, I received a phone call that prayers were needed. The baby was going to the ER and not many details were known. My son and I prayed that God's Will be done and that He help the family stay strong and the baby stay healthy.

This morning, I awoke to the phone ringing. Another of my friends called with the news. I was absolutely in shock, and I think I still am.

I have spent the day praying and feeling some guilt at the other side of the coin of sadness - the joy I feel. I feel absolute joy that He has allowed me to keep my children. I realize very humbly today that they are indeed His children and not mine. He can call them back whenever He wants them or needs them. The cross He has given this family to bear is not one that I feel I could carry so graciously if it were given to me. I marvel at His Works. I don't understand what His plan is, but I do have hope and faith that He does everything for a reason.

The cross I have been given to bear in this life feels a little lighter today as look down upon my healthy children. I feel truly blessed with the gifts He has given me on this earth. My children are beautiful, healthy, and happy, most of the time. Their faces bring joy to my life everyday and I have never been more thankful for their presence than I am today.

Please lift up this family in prayer. Their hearts need the fullness of God's Love.

~H

Sunday, Smunday

I have to admit, I was tempted to nap today. My Flower and My Lovey (new name for Little Man born 8/19, because after all, he is My Lovey) both were quick asleep after we got home from Mass. Instead of sleeping, I am up catching up on blogs and posting to my own. Will I regret this later? I hope not.

We awakened (is that a word?) early this morning to Wobs and his friend playing in the living room - his friend having asked his mom if he could go to church with us. I obviously couldn't say no. They're not Catholic and don't have much of a faith background as far as I could tell from speaking with them on it. I feel like they are in a place that I was in a few years ago and that I better darn well do what I can to help lest I feel the Wrath of God upon me. (And I mean that in a pseudo cute but serious kind of way.)

So, Wobs crazy friend went with us. I can only imagine what it was like for my friends at Mass the first couple of times that I went with all the questions I had. Thank you so much for your patience if any of you are reading this. The child I brought with today was FULL OF QUESTIONS, almost to the point of annoyance. But really, can you be annoyed when someone is wanting to learn more about our beautiful Faith? I think not. I hope that I was able to let His Light shine enough through me without overshadowing it.

Today is a short-post kind of day. I'm sleepy and unmotivated. And My Lovey just woke up in my arms. He needs his milk. :)

~H

Oops! I did it again....

I know, I know. I promised no more long pauses. Well, not promise exactly. But I casually mentioned that I was going to make an effort not to let it go too long.

Times they are a changin'.

My life, being busy as always, has been far too busy for this or anything else related to time to one's self. But maybe that's the point.

Let me explain. First, I have had time to read some other blogs. While on vacation from posting here I have read up on many important subjects and pondered some very important things: the upcoming election, prayer, sacrifice, abortion, the origin of the word fetus, Montessori learning (for my toddler), karate (for my 8 year old), sore nipples (from my newborn, who's 8 weeks old now)....just to name a few.

The most important thing I read and reflected on was how life is not about what you do but whom you serve. It lead me to rethink my busy-ness (which, ironically, I was going to spell business). My vocation from the Lord is to be a wife and mother. I am studying to be a midwife, which I also feel called to do, but I feel like that calling is something that is meant to be put on hold until my children are (much) older.

So if what I do is being a mom, housewife, homemaker, spouse, partner, or whatever other conventional label you want to give it - who am I serving?

The obvious answer is I serve my family. And there is truth in that. I serve my husband. I am a diligent steward of the sacrifices he makes for our family and he is honestly my best friend. I serve my children, not just things like breakfast and dinner. I serve them by helping them grow and learn, gently guiding them (sometimes forcefully) to God through (I hope) love and faith. But who is at the heart of all of this? And what am I telling my children about my vocation as they see me drag myself through the day, exhausted at times and even, *gasp*, complaining (ok, a lot of complaining).

Whom do I serve?

I realize, after much reflection and with much humility, that my ultimate vocation is to serve God. I haven't been chosen to serve Him through consecrated life or single life. I haven't been given a gift that can readily be shared with the poor or sick, although I do strive to incorporate that into my life (God help me). I have been chosen to serve God by serving those who He has put into my life and my care.

The precious children he has entrusted to me are my service and my gift to Him and the world He created. What kind of example am I to them if I constantly grumble and whine about the vocation I have been called to? Would He want me to teach them that if this indeed becomes their calling that they too should dread it? Would He want me to be uninspiring? I think not.

With much pondering of these questions I have a new found joy about my everyday busyness (again, my neato word) and the occasional burnout and weariness I face. It is truly a blessing to be a mother to these children, and a wife, companion, and friend to my husband. The legacy I want to leave to my children is one of profound humility, joy (again, 'cause I just can't think of a better word), prudence, and courage at being found worthy enough to be called by Him to serve.

~H

P.S. Expect more posts, especially those with a political flair, to come soon.