Today, news......news that I cannot even bear to type came. Friends of ours unexpectedly lost their 7 week old baby last night. He died in his sleep.
As wonderful as the thought of him sitting in God's arms is, I cannot help but feel sorrow and sadness for his family. As a mother, I know there is nothing I can say or do that will make it any easier for his mother to grieve. I pray for God to give them the strength to carry on and to shower them with His love and grace in the months and years to come.
I find myself saddened and joyful today. I am saddened by the news of his passing. He was only a part of this world for such a short time. He gave his family unmeasurable amounts of joy and I know his family, and especially his mother, loved him very much.
I was able to speak with her late in the afternoon yesterday, before any of this had occurred. It was the first time she and I have really been able to talk since I had my son and she hers. She was so happy, so full of that elated euphoria that comes with having a new baby. We consoled each other on the sheer exhaustion of caring for a newborn and a toddler, comparing our situations, her nursing the toddler and the baby, and me just nursing my baby while trying to get my toddler to sleep without that tool. We had such a nice time talking. It was so good to see her and her family and hear that all was going well.
Later that night, I received a phone call that prayers were needed. The baby was going to the ER and not many details were known. My son and I prayed that God's Will be done and that He help the family stay strong and the baby stay healthy.
This morning, I awoke to the phone ringing. Another of my friends called with the news. I was absolutely in shock, and I think I still am.
I have spent the day praying and feeling some guilt at the other side of the coin of sadness - the joy I feel. I feel absolute joy that He has allowed me to keep my children. I realize very humbly today that they are indeed His children and not mine. He can call them back whenever He wants them or needs them. The cross He has given this family to bear is not one that I feel I could carry so graciously if it were given to me. I marvel at His Works. I don't understand what His plan is, but I do have hope and faith that He does everything for a reason.
The cross I have been given to bear in this life feels a little lighter today as look down upon my healthy children. I feel truly blessed with the gifts He has given me on this earth. My children are beautiful, healthy, and happy, most of the time. Their faces bring joy to my life everyday and I have never been more thankful for their presence than I am today.
Please lift up this family in prayer. Their hearts need the fullness of God's Love.