Bearing the Cross

Dear Daddy,

I am having such a hard time dealing with this cross you have given me. I am very angry and hurt. It hurts so much sometimes that I don't even want to get out of bed. Just when I feel the weight being lifted a little bit, like Your holding a little of the weight for me, it seems like You drop the whole of it back on me again.

I don't know why You have given me such a heavy one. Aren't there any lighter ones up there I could trade for this one? Or maybe just a smaller one?

Either way - this one is considerably substantial and burdensome. It gnaws at my very being, at the very Sacrement it defies. I am trying to be a good steward of my vocation, but lately it is just so awful that I am not sure I can go on.

Please help me. I cannot carry this cross alone. I offer You my suffering as a sacrifice, for myself as a sinner, for other sinners, and for the conversion of hearts. You know particularly which one I am talking about.

Daddy, without You I will not make it. Please help me to love You more. Help me trust You and your infinite wisdom. The plan You have for me is not known by any other than You, and I am sure there is a great reason behind this precise burden you have put upon me. Please use me well. Help others to see You Light through me. Keep me from shadowing You so that all others may know Your Glory.

I trust in You. Help me to keep my faith and hope in You alive.

Heather