Thursday, January 27, 2011

Best Dream Ever

I know this has become somewhat of a knitting blog, so if you're here for that today you probably want to leave now. No knitting content.

I also write about matters of faith and Catholic-y stuff. None of that either today.

Today, I awoke from one of the best dreams ever.

Was it fortune or fame? Did I knit up my whole stash? Meet the Pope? Have another baby? Go on a real date with my husband? Get a maid?

No, no, no, no, no, and no.

I told my husband's ex-wife exactly what I thought about her money-grubbing ways that take food out of my kids' mouths so she can have snowmobiles, an RV, and a new car every year.

And then....

I beat her up.


It felt good!

Now, I didn't beat her to a pulp or anything. I just punched her in the face a few times and threw her into the wall while I was telling her what a bad example of a human being and mother she was. I think I kicked her in the shins a few times too. She was able to walk away.

Ok, ok. I know this isn't very "Christian" of me. But let me say this - This is something that would *never* happen in real life. It feels good right now because at least I had some release of the pent up anger and injustice I feel at something (a situation) that I can do ABSOLUTELY nothing about. It doesn't matter if I did tell her any of those things IRL, because she doesn't care. Judges don't care, the system doesn't care.
IRL, I place my trust in God and try to find peace knowing He won't let us starve (He hasn't). But, I am still angry. And there is no where for that anger to go, least of all where it is directed (at the money-grubbing whore).

(Yes, I just used whore and God in the same paragraph. I'm odd like that.)

So, the best release I could be given, that has no repercussions *what-so-ever* (IRL), no jail, no fines, no my kids seeing me let this situation (and psycho woman) steer me into a really bad decision, was this TOTALLY KICK-ASS DREAM.

No. It didn't solve anything. In fact, in the dream, I think she had managed to convince a judge to give her even more money, which is why I finally lost it and figured it couldn't hurt to tell her like it is.

Thank you God for that release. She'll never know about, but it still felt great!! I can't stop smiling.

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