Temporary Un-Slump!!

I have new yarn!! Even though it is not the most exciting yarn ever, it is still new and needs to be knit NOW.

I got my three skeins of Cascade 220 in the mail today. See? (look down)

Here is some interesting fact: My family is from Pittsburgh, PA (they are very, very excited, HI Aunt San!). I have lived in WI for 18 years. I was born in Dallas, TX.

Could this be a cooler Superbowl?? I think not!

I must make at least 1 Steeler Hat for my husband (he just really loves Pittsburgh (the city) and thinks the AFC has this one!), and 1 Green Bay hat for my brother (big-time Packer fan, cause ya know, we live ehre). I may make an itty-bitty Steeler hat from the left-overs for my newly pregnant cousin and an itty-bitty Green Bay hat for my little nephew in Utah. Maybe. We'll see how "hatted-out" I am after the big-boy hats!
Also, my dear, dear friend had a BABY GIRL last night and needs some knitted goodness. I think a mini-tiny sweater is in order since she had a little-bitty 5 lb baby!! :)

Slump on hold for now......!!!

In A Slump....the full post

I am in a knitting slump. I don't know what's up. Well, I kind of do, a little.

I have items on my needles that I have no desire, or have lost the desire, to knit.

Let's start at the beginning.

I started the February Lady Sweater back in November. It was cold outside, and this was the only project I had planned for myself to which I already possessed the yarn.

I knit the yoke in a matter of days. I finally picked it up again a few weeks ago and knit far enough to divide for the sleeves. And now it's about 2 inches past where the sleeves are. I took it off the needles and tried it on.

It's too small.

Fuck.

The idea of ripping it out and knitting that again is overwhelming, especially since I only have 5 skeins (210 yards each) of Malabrigo to knit it out of and I feel like I barely have enough to knit the size I am knitting (according to the pattern) let alone to go up another size. *sigh*

Also, I am of average size. My breasts, not so much. This makes it difficult to even pick out a size, let alone knit one, from any pattern. I am always presented with the same problem....little shoulders, big chest, normal waist. I know a bit about sweater design and modification, but still. It's upsetting. I don't want to knit accessories for the rest of my life.

Next up.....

The picture up there ::imagine arrow pointing up::. That is the very, very beginning of my Effortless Cardigan. I have knit probably half of the yoke beyond that. The yarn is lovely, very very squishy and round and just buttery goodness.

But.

I think I might like it even more if I went up a needle size.

The prospect of ripping this out is bugging me, and not in a good way. I have put A LOT of time into knitting this. It could be fine the way it is. But I have this nagging feeling I'd like it more at a slightly looser gauge. This, of course, also involves reworking the numbers again (already did this once for the current gauge I am knitting at).

Argh.

So.....

With those two projects making me want to go hide my head in the sand like an ostrich, I cast on something "new". I thought if I started a project that was "needed" and very "useful" I'd be sure to find knitting it very rewarding and want to complete it ASAP. It would be awesome!!

Nope. Not really.

I cast on for another Nighttime Soaker (link is for the original). This one is in a bigger size (she outgrew that one). I forgot how stinkin' long it takes to do double knitting (in the round, especially). I can knit for an hour and it grows like maybe one centimeter. Arghhhhh! This project, too, has a mental roadblock attached to it.

Still....

There is the Husband Sweater on the needles. Really, this just needs a few more inches of body and then I can attach the sleeves (already knit) and knit the yoke. I really *should* do this.

There it is. My slump.

I really want to knit something exciting, and colorful, and crazy. I have lots of yarn, but I really don't want to start anything else.

I did find an awesome crochet cowl pattern (here), free, that I want to crochet (crazy! because I *hate* crochet). But I can't decide on a yarn that would work out of my stash and I am NOT ordering more yarn.

Of course, in the mail in the next few days is coming 3 skeins of Cascade: 1 Palm (green), 1 Goldenrod (yellow), and 1 Black. What, oh what, will I ever knit with those?? Superbowl hats for my men (husband, brother, son).

Slumpy. Frumpy.

In A Slump

On a lighter note.....

Since I got not a single comment on my last post, I am thinking maybe many of you saw it in "bad taste" or whatever and I am going to lighten it up a bit. :) Please do understand, that here at "Today Again", you get real me - not glossed over me, not "I am super pious" me, not perfect-mom me, or no-sinning-going-on-in-this-head me. Nope. Just REAL me. The post about the (awesome) dream was just a glimpse into me. I hope it at least made you laugh a little.

We are first lightening up a bit with some yarny news....

I got the shipment of yarn for the Malabrigo Scrappy Swap in the mail today!! And I have picutures!! Except, silly me, I forgot to load them here before I started typing. Let me tell you, if I try to load them now, it will erase all of my previous typing and links. Being that the typing with the nursing baby on my lap takes a lot of time and patience, not to mention the added linkage and "boldface" type.....I am just going to link you to the Ravelry pictures instead. Or, you can follow the forum posts here, where there are also pictures.

And, from the depths of my 4 year old's awesome phrases:

ME (talking to baby Rose, 4 months): Hello Pumpkin! Aren't you a cutie pumpkin pie??

FLOWER (in all seriousness): Mama, she is not a pumpkin!

Happy Saturday!!

Best Dream Ever

I know this has become somewhat of a knitting blog, so if you're here for that today you probably want to leave now. No knitting content.

I also write about matters of faith and Catholic-y stuff. None of that either today.

Today, well....ahhhhh....today I awoke from one of the best dreams ever.

Was it fortune or fame? Did I knit up my whole stash? Meet the Pope? Have another baby? Go on a real date with my husband? Get a maid?

No, no, no, no, no, and no.

I told my husband's ex-wife exactly what I thought about her money-grubbing ways that take food out of my kids' mouths so she can have snowmobiles, an RV, and a new car every year.

And then....

I beat her up.

And...

It felt good!

Now, I didn't beat her to a pulp or anything. I just punched her in the face a few times and threw her into the wall while I was telling her what a bad example of a human being and mother she was. I think I kicked her in the shins a few times too. She was able to walk away.

Ok, ok. I know this isn't very "Christian" of me. But let me say this - This is something that would *never* happen in real life. It feels good right now because at least I had some release of the pent up anger and injustice I feel at something (a situation) that I can do ABSOLUTELY nothing about. It doesn't matter if I did tell her any of those things IRL, because she doesn't care. Judges don't care, the system doesn't care.
IRL, I place my trust in God and try to find peace knowing He won't let us starve (He hasn't). But, I am still angry. And there is no where for that anger to go, least of all where it is directed (at the money-grubbing whore).

(Yes, I just used whore and God in the same paragraph. I'm odd like that.)

So, the best release I could be given, that has no repercussions *what-so-ever* (IRL), no jail, no fines, no my kids seeing me let this situation (and psycho woman) steer me into a really bad decision, was this TOTALLY KICK-ASS DREAM.

No. It didn't solve anything. In fact, in the dream, I think she had managed to convince a judge to give her even more money, which is why I finally lost it and figured it couldn't hurt to tell her like it is.

Thank you God for that release. She'll never know about, but it still felt great!! I can't stop smiling.

"Ask Them What They Mean by 'Choice' Blog Day"

This is taken directly from Jill Stanek's Blog:

When NARAL announced a “Blog for Choice Day,” to be held this Friday, January 21, my blood boiled.

How dare they celebrate the upcoming 38th anniversary of the infamous Roe v. Wade decision with their ambiguous claptrap.

Over 50 million babies have been killed in America since that terrible day, most certainly nothing to cheer about, unless you’re in Rome at the Colosseum perhaps.

So pro-life bloggers are banding together to sponsor a counter “Ask Them What They Mean When They Say ‘Choice’ Blog Day” on the same day, January 21.

We’re also encouraging all pro-lifers on Twitter and Facebook to participate.

The idea is simple. Any time any of us reads pro-aborts spouting their obscure “choice” rhetoric on a blog, website, Facebook, or Twitter, we call them out on it. We ask them to explain what the “choice” is.

Is it to eat carrots rather than broccoli? To wear red instead of blue? No, of course “choice” is code for killing babies. What’s their problem with the A-word?

Yes, this is a shameless scheme to suck oxygen out of the pro-aborts’ social media universe, to deny them any time whatsoever to support abortion without defending it.

~~~~~~~

I am participating. Any time I see someone defending "choice" on Friday, I am asking them what it means. I like Jill's questions: Is it to eat carrots rather than broccoli? To wear red instead of blue?

This is not what "choice" means to the culture of death. Choice means "kill a baby". That is it. I spent numerous hours this week getting sucked into reading comments on all kinds of pro-life blogs and on abortion stories in the media. I have not been blogging enough about this awful, satanic, demonic holocaust in America (and around the world). My blood is boiling again.

Anyone want to join me?

Oh! I forgot to mention.....

Another thing I love about this little hat: It can be pulled back like a little hood.

Isn't that cute?

So, it essentially covers the neck, ears, and head seamlessly, folds back as a hood when not in use, and is totally cute. Good all around.

Here's some more pictures for you to check out. Yes, that is the Wobber's back there. He is going to be 11 (E-L-E-V-E-N!!) very soon. Wow.

What I've been working on

The cutest little baby hat ever!! I have been figuring out the pattern for the hat I bought Lovey almost 2 years ago, before I learned to knit. I think I got it and decided to test knit the pattern I wrote.

This is just some Cascade 220 that I had left over from another project in a blue/grey color.

It turned out very, very cute. I think for an infant I could potentially leave out about 8 stitches next time and come up with a better fitting size. That little point at the top is a little too "full" for my liking (although, I *LOVE* the pointyness of this hat!!).

This is really a simple 2x2 rib hat. Once you work about 2 inches in the round on 76 stitches, you cast of 6 stitches in the middle and then work back and forth. The corners where the stitches meet are 2 stitches accross (as in the 2x2 rib) and 3 rows high.

It is finished with a 3 needle bind off on the underside of the top, giving it a pointy little gnomey-pixie look. I am thinking I will knit her one of these in my club yarn for next month (colorway choices this month were "grapes of wrath" or "daisy chain"....I got grapes of wrath in a worsted weight.....just....one....skein).

I really, really love this hat!! Can't wait to make more! It's a quick, easy, and unique baby gift I think!

Knitting Random

Just some random knitting news, stuff, etc.

This is a picture of my package (the one I received) in the Reducio Sock Swap - Round 13. I got 2 itty-bitty socks, a bunch of goodies, and a copy of "The Tales of Beedle the Bard." It's too cool. I love this group on Ravelry, and it is sooooo much fun. Of course, I forgot to take a picture of the package I sent out. It had Hermione's beaded bag, 2 mini-socks, and 3 mini-knitted Horcruxes in it (and some chocolate and candy).

This is a picture of the Wobbs in his hew hat. I have dubbed this "The Panda Hat" because he looks like a little bear cub. This is actually a diaper soaker (Sheepy Soaker is the pattern) that he found in my yarn box. It was never used. He asked me to cover the leg openings with some teal yarn.....and voila! A hat!

And.....

I finally sewed a button onto the Nutmeg Sweater. I *had* to. Baby girl was out-growing the little pink garter-stitch yoke sweater I knit her, so it was time to upgrade. I sewed on the button, added the button loop, and knit two i-cords to close the other side.

She is fat and cute. She wears this a lot now. I really like it a lot more than I thought I would. :)

Swatch Happy

Zora is not turning out as I planned. I still don't have the right needles and I am really not sure that I want to knit a sweater out of this yarn. The more I swatch, the more I think, "WTF am I thinking?" Well, I am thinking I should have ordered the yarn in a different base. Not because I don't like the yarn.....I just don't think I want a sweater made out of it. Then, of course, what will I do with 5 skeins of sock yarn in this amazing blue-gray colorway?? I don't know. Maybe a massive Pi-shawl? Or a bunch of medium sized ones? Or maybe I'll knit the sweater anyway once I decide to order needles.

Anywho. So I also have the gorgeous yarn for the Effortless Cardigan. And guess what? I *do* have the right needles to knit that sweater. So I swatched. The yarn is DK and the pattern calls for a gauge of 19 stitches/4 inches. So, I knit two swatches. One on size US 3 (3.25mm) and one on size US 4 (3.5 mm).

I measured the gauge both before and after blocking. (I'm a little OCD, and the yarn was expensive, so I want to make sure the project comes out just right.) I am thinking about sending it through the washing machine to see if that does anything to it also (just in case I ever want to wash it that way, it *is* superwash).

I think I am going to go with the size 3 needles. I got 4.64 stitches to the inch (it's an average from the 5 different measurements I took of the swatch, 3 four inch ones and 2 three inch ones). I played with the numbers a bit and I am happy with the results.

The two swatches are wonderful, btw. I am definitely buying more of this yarn. It is the softest and squishiest yarn ever, perfectly round. LOVE it. This picture here does it no justice.

Now the hard part - do I cast on? Or finish my February Lady Sweater (in Malabrigo, already separated for the sleeves)?

First FO of 2011

I finished this hat sometime in the first few days of 2011. I have a couple pictures of it on (it is very nice) but they are blurry. So, this is all you get.

The pattern is "Hermione Hearts Ron". It is taken from the hat Hermione wears in the movie "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince". It calls for fingering-type weight yarn. I used worsted and changed the numbers accordingly. The original hat has 12 repeats of the 11 stitch chart....I only did 9. This also means I had to fudge the crown decreases. I ended up frogging the crown twice. The third time I knit it, it was good. (Now what *did* I do??)

Oh - yes. I decreased the purls first by p3, p2tog. Once those were gone, I decreased the knits NOT by k2tog, but on the same line as where the purls were going away, by ssk. So the crown swirls one way and then the other. It looks nice with the cables.

I have also decided that I like cables, but not big blocks of purl inbetween. I'll keep that in mind for future projects.

The yarn I used for this was Dream in Color Classy, a superwash worsted-weight wool. I love it! I have used their Smooshy yarn before (sock yarn) and I was underimpressed. But this stuff is great. I loved the feel, the fabric, and the colors (this colorway was "Lunar Zazzle"). I would knit with it again in a heartbeat. I am actually resisting the urge to purchase enough to make a sweater.....since I have plently of sweater yarn right now.

Better late than never.....

Pictures from getting a Christmas Tree. It was great. The "little" kids were big enough to really have fun this year.

Can you see the camo Lovey in the above picture?

In the car....waiting to get out. Me in the car. Tradition dicatate I must take a picture of all of us in the car.

The Lovey. So cute.

And my favorite picutre of the day. It helps that I *heart* my husband with a beard. Sadly, it is gone now, left only with the chin hair (still nice, but not the *best* imo; he hates the beard, but does it for me every year).

Baptism

Rose was baptised this weekend. Here are some pictures for those of you who live far away.

Unlike my other children, she didn't mind the water a bit.

There is her Godmother.

On the left, GodMother and Godfather (in the green and grey), on the right, myself and the husband (pink and green), and in the middle, Fr. Holmes.

Isn't she cute!

It's me again

Hi.

I wish I could delete that last post. Can't do that when you blog from a phone.

I guess that would be a little "real-world-me" coming through.

Let me tell you -

Even on the bad days....

Even when they make me crazy...

Even when I have not showered in 7 days because everyone is sick and needs me (like now).....

I would not trade this job for all the yarn in the world (yarn seems more appropriate than money).

I love my kids, and not just because it's cool to say that or sound self rightchous (how the heck do you spell that at 1am without your glasses on laying in bed??y.

I really love them. I get angry and frustrated. I am real. This is real life.

But they are sooooo worth it.

(So much so, I will probably *not* return to Midwifery, even though I am *almost* done to the point of having a license. But that's another post....something I've been thinking about for a long time.)

I have created a monster

My 2 year old.

He's so cute. And cuddly. And sweet. He can melt my heart with a laugh or one of his smiles.

Last week, when he fell ill, he wanted to nurse. I have always had wonderful dreams of tandem nursing and my kids growing up to be "nursing buddie" and all that jazz. It has *never* worked out, as whoever is the nusling usually weans themselves at about 4 months into the next pregnancy. I am usually sad when they wean, but relieved a little too.

So, when he wanted to nurse, I was happy. I was so excited that he wanted to reconnect, that he'd be getting good anti-bodies (since he's sick), and that I could comfort him.

It's been a week.

I've decided he's a little like an addict.

He seems to believe he needs to be attached 24/7. Um, no. You are 2. I have no problem nursing 3 or 4 times during the day. In fact, for naptime I prefer it to other methods of sleep induction. But YOU DO NOT NEED TO NURSE AS OFTEN AS THE INFANT WHO DOES NOT EAT ADULT FOOD. Seriously.

He has been protesting my, er, "restrictions". He protests very loudly, usually by repeating, "I want some mooties" over. And over. And over. It's really @#?!ing annoying.

I know, I know....but MamaMidiwfe, remember how *happy* you were to be serving God by caring for your children? How happy it made you to "be there" for them? Why are you complaining?

I appologize. Really I did. Click away from my page. Go ahead, I understand.

I am just sooooo annoyed. I know he's tired, and/or sick (he is starting to turn the corner since he was the first one to get "it"), and needs me. It just sucks. I cannot nurse him all day. I have a baby who needs me for that.

He is also waking up at night and asking for them. Dude? Wtf? Last night he repeated "I want some mooties" for AN HOUR. And I even nursed him twice during that hour and he just. kept. going.

In fact, he has been saying that for the last hour that I have been sitting here in bed. I finally picked up my phone and decided to post.

I know I no longer sound charitable. I understand if this rant makes me the worst mama ever. And if you never want to come back.

But.

I.

Am.

Going.

Crazy.

Want to come?

*le sigh*

I imagine (hope) this will get better. I have decided, for now, nighttime nursing is reserved for the BABY only. I hate to see my boy cry - but I get up enough as is to nurse during the night. He *is* in fact mature enough to be sleeping and cuddled when he wakes. (Which I've been doing for always.)

Poor kid. It's all my fault.

A little "Round-Up"

Well, I've never done a knitting "round up" of the year.....but here it goes.

2010 saw my knitting skill and stamina increase. According to Ravelry, I knit 38 projects this year (whew!). 2 projects are still WIP for this year, and 2 were put to sleep. One of the WIP is a completed project that was started in 2009, frogged in 2010 and restarted.

I completed:
6 sweaters
6 pairs of longies
2 soakers
6 pairs of gloves/mittens/fingerless mittens
6 hats
1 pair of socks
1 pair of wee-tiny-socks
1 wee-tiny bag with 3 wee-tiny horcuxes inside of it (forgot to take a picture and add to projects)
4 plush-y type toys
1 shawl
1 blanket (crochet)
1 scarf (for my mom, not on my project page)
1 hat not on project page for hideousness

I still have 2 sweaters (one for me, one for the husband) on the needles.

I have 2 socks hibernating. One of them indefintely. The other I think I will knit into wristies.

Hmp. That feels pretty good.

Now, for fun, let's contrast that with 2009 - the year I learned to knit.

15 projects:

1 pair of socks
1 hat
2 sweaters (1 of those got frogged and is currently on the needles)
2 shorties (1 turned into a hat, not the hat counted earlier, just thought you'd like to know)
2 soakers (1 of these also turned into a hat in 2011)
1 pair of mittens
1 single mitten
1 single bootie
3 plushy type toys (2 Yoda's and a sheep)
1 afghan square (just a square, tiny, like 8 x 8 inches)

Seems I have picked up speed......

Here's to some good knitting this year. :)

3am is a great time to blog

No, really. It is.

I am up because I have sick kids. Some kind of fever/headache bug has hit. It started with Lovey on Friday and yesterday bloomed in Flower and the Wobbers.

Now, before you click away because you don't want to hear me get all complain-y (yes, I just made up that word), let me tell you I'm actually happy about this.

No, I am not the extremely-pious-holier-than-thou-type parent/Catholic/Christian either (so you don't have to click away because of *that*)....but....really I had an epiphany about this sick kid thing:

I am thankful for the opportunity to serve. I am thankful to God for these babies and the chance to comfort them, which is only made possible by God's Will for my life and His Grace.

And that makes me joyous.

And a little sleep deprived.

But seriously - living out my vocation brings me joy, even (and sometimes especially) in what our secular world would call the "crappy" moments.

I did not grow up with lots of caring and comfort from my parents, especially when I was sick. Having a sick kid was considered a major inconvenience to them and I/we were constantly reminded of such when we were ill. No one "babied" me/us or took the extra time to make sure I/we were as comfortable as possible. It was pretty much "you can stay home from school but you're on your own". To be fair, I'm sure (or I hope) part of that was due to important things like "someone has to go to work to make the money or we won't eat"....but, I digress.

Being able to care for my children in completely unselfish ways (when I'd rather be doing anything else than getting puked on) has a healing quality to those childhood wounds I picked up telling me I wasn't worth it. (I grew up with a *profound* belief that I was not worthy of anything good, especially love and time or praise.) It feels good to give them the reinforcements that tell them, in not so many words, "YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND LOVED" and "I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU" - even let you puke in my lap or have a nose-bleed all over my shirt (3 of those today!!) just because it comforts you and is easier for you to have to endure this crap in your mama's arms.

So even though I wish I had 6 extra hands today, and two extra laps (mama's lap is prime real estate around here when everyone is sick), I am happy, joyful even. God is good. He has surrounded me with soooo much love, so many reminders of my worth to Him (in the forms of little souls I am responsible for for a little while): it just makes me smile.

:)

Yarn Club Yarn

I was reading back through a few posts and realized I promised pictures but never gave them.

This is my shipment from the Speshul Snowflakes Yarn Club for December:

Up first is "Mulled Wine" on the yarn base Big Feet, which is a superwash DK.

It is destined to become the Effortless Cardigan.

It is delightful, and deep, and saturated, and squooshy!

This is "Blue Steel" in the base All Your Base, which is a superwash fingering.

It will become Zora. I *heart* this color.

I have already purchased 2 new circs and knit 3 swatches for this sweater. Alas, none of them work. It seems I am destined to order more needles (again) and I will probably be knitting the entire thing on size US 1 (2.25mm) needles. Unless anyone has a US 1 metal circular needle at least 24 inches lng (or longer) they won't need for 6 months??? (or want to sell)

But the yarn is *lovely*. I can't wait for next months choices. (Just ONE skien for me next month. One is what's already paid for.)

Malabrigo Swap anyone?

This post is just aimed at knitters. Sorry to everyone else.

Do you love Malabrigo?

Do you like making scrappy projects?

Do you want to get some Malabrigo scraps without having to purchase 10 different skeins yourself?

I am hosting a Malabrigo Swap over on Ravelry in the "Soakers and Longies" group. I am just gauging interest right now - sign-ups haven't started yet. If you are a member of Ravelry, and interested.....go check it out.

:)

Tandem

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year's Day.

Around here, my Lovely has been sick. He has a fever of unknown origin (read: Mama thinks he's got some virus running through his system).

He is very sad-looking. The bonus of him being sick (see, I can find a silver lining in anything) is that he is mellow-er than normal. He cuddles, will sit still for short periods of time, and wants to read lots of books on your lap. I love it.

He has also decided that he needs milkies. His little nody is smart enough to know that nursing will help him fight whatever it is. I am sure the close, cuddle time with Mama doesn't hurt either. ;)

He does not, however, like that he is not first in line for milkies. Rose gets first dibs *always*. If he's nursing and then she wants some, he gets kicked off. He doesn't like that one bit. It's hard for me too, because I don't like making him sad. But I have to remind myself that he *is* bonded to me and Rose is still getting attached. She needs more reassurance than he does because she's littler and new.
We'll see where it goes from here. He may stop nursing once he feels better, or not. Doesn't matter either way to me (although I have become quite HUNGRY since he picked up nursing again).

**Is there knitting going on? You bet! Almost done with the first new WIP of the new year, a hat for ME.**