WTF? What happened to us? We had such a good relationship. You were dependable, always there when I needed you.
For the past year and a half I have enjoyed coming to see you every week, sometimes every two weeks. I thought about you everyday and reached for your trinkets often.
Did you really think you weren't good enough for me? Did you really think I would stray?
I have been faithful to you. I have bragged about your strengths to my friends and talked you up to the other moms every chance I got. I never faultered in my unwaivering devotion to you. I thought we'd be together forever.
But you changed. I used to think of you as reliable. In fact, no one could hold a candle to the place you achieved within my heart. Now the only words I can use to describe you are smelly, saggy, and leaky. You're size has exploded. Even the kids don't want you around anymore.
Your "New and Improved" diapers suck.