Monday, October 25, 2010

By Myself

Today is the day my husband returns to work (or shall I say "returned" as he has been there since 6am?).

I am alone, with the kiddos.

I had big plans and expectations for myself today. I thought, by the sheer power of my awesomeness, our day would look something like this:

5:30am - Mom wakes up and packs Dad's lunch while he finishes dressing. Mom writes sexy love note and puts it in Dad's lunch for him to find later.

5:45am - Dad and Mom make out for a few minutes before he leaves while kids sleep peacefully in bed.

5:55am - Dad leaves for work and Mom joins kids in slumberland.

8:00am - Baby wakes up to nurse. Once satisfied, other children wake up.

8:30am - Diapers changed all around. Everyone dressed and ready to eat. Brealfast time.

9:00am - Dishes done. Laundry started. Blues Clues in and homeschool started.

9:00am to 11:00am - Nurse baby and fold laundry while toddlers play to learn and Mom "teaches" 10 year old his schoolwork. 10 year old is cooperative and loves to learn.

11:00am - kids go outside to play while mom prepares lunch and nurses/change baby.

12:00pm - Lunch, healthy with 1 protien, 2 fruits/veggies, 1 carb and milk or juice (for non-milk drinkers or toddlers who love OJ)

12:30pm clean up and diaper changes

1:00pm - Toddler nap time. "Big girl" 4 year old gets to stay up and color while 2 year old naps. Baby naps peacefully at same time while Mom finishes folding laundry and catches up on her blog. Then mom knits leisurely while 10 year old cheerfully completes schoolwork.

Sounds great! Right?

Except it went like this:

5:30am - Mom wakes up to Dad trying to find a pair of socks and 2 year old's feet in her face. Mom goes to bathroom and comes back to bed to nurse baby.

5:45am - Dad kisses all the kids on the forehead and then Mom's forehead before he leaves for work.

5:50am - 6:15am - Mom tries to fall back asleep but is pestered by the idea that the baby is going to wake up again as soon as she falls asleep.

7:30am - 2 year old wakes up. Says "Where's Daddy?" and crawls out of bed and runs from room, presumably to look for said "Daddy."

7:35ish - 2 year old slips ice cold hands under mom's arm that is holding baby and says "Up." Mom pulls toddler into bed and pulls blankets up.

9:00am - Baby wakes up to nurse. Mom realizes it's freakin' 9am (!) And looks around for other kids who have been up by 8 everyday for a week. Two toddlers are laying next to her. Whew.

9:15am - Get toddler #1 a cup of OJ. Toddler #2 a glass of milk. Poor dry cheerios into a paper bowl and place on toddler table. Yell downstairs for 10 year old to wake up. Sit down to nurse baby again.

9:45am - Realize you haven't changed diapers yet. Crap.

10:00am - Clean diapers and clothes for little ones. Baby sleeping for a few minutes. Get dishes done. Yell at 10 year old to feed dog amd flip laundry. Promptly facebook from your phone that it will be a good day.

10-12 - evaluate the chaos around you and be humbled that everyone ate today. Crap - except you.

12:00pm - Tell boy to start lunch. You can't because the baby won't stop crying. Tell him to put away schoolwork b/c he must learn to obey (he hasn't beeb all morning) before we can jump back into school.

1:30 - Thank God for Mac&Cheese, fishsticks, and chicken nuggets.

2:00pm - Start to lose it as you realize you just need a nap. Change baby diaper while 10 year old changes 2 year old. Tell 10 year old to watch a movie with 4 year old while you try to get 2 year old and baby to sleep at the same time, by yourself! Ah!

2:05pm - 2 year old is banging head on locked door to your room (he's locked IN with you) while you nurse baby and pray everyone just falls asleep.

That's more like it!!

How is your day?


1 comment:

Acerbica said...

Hilarious! I love how our fantasies aren't even remotely related to past history. As in, "My very best days look like X, but I'm sure that today will be four times as good despite extra complications today!"