It's me again

Hi.

I wish I could delete that last post. Can't do that when you blog from a phone.

I guess that would be a little "real-world-me" coming through.

Let me tell you -

Even on the bad days....

Even when they make me crazy...

Even when I have not showered in 7 days because everyone is sick and needs me (like now).....

I would not trade this job for all the yarn in the world (yarn seems more appropriate than money).

I love my kids, and not just because it's cool to say that or sound self rightchous (how the heck do you spell that at 1am without your glasses on laying in bed??y.

I really love them. I get angry and frustrated. I am real. This is real life.

But they are sooooo worth it.

(So much so, I will probably *not* return to Midwifery, even though I am *almost* done to the point of having a license. But that's another post....something I've been thinking about for a long time.)

I have created a monster

My 2 year old.

He's so cute. And cuddly. And sweet. He can melt my heart with a laugh or one of his smiles.

Last week, when he fell ill, he wanted to nurse. I have always had wonderful dreams of tandem nursing and my kids growing up to be "nursing buddie" and all that jazz. It has *never* worked out, as whoever is the nusling usually weans themselves at about 4 months into the next pregnancy. I am usually sad when they wean, but relieved a little too.

So, when he wanted to nurse, I was happy. I was so excited that he wanted to reconnect, that he'd be getting good anti-bodies (since he's sick), and that I could comfort him.

It's been a week.

I've decided he's a little like an addict.

He seems to believe he needs to be attached 24/7. Um, no. You are 2. I have no problem nursing 3 or 4 times during the day. In fact, for naptime I prefer it to other methods of sleep induction. But YOU DO NOT NEED TO NURSE AS OFTEN AS THE INFANT WHO DOES NOT EAT ADULT FOOD. Seriously.

He has been protesting my, er, "restrictions". He protests very loudly, usually by repeating, "I want some mooties" over. And over. And over. It's really @#?!ing annoying.

I know, I know....but MamaMidiwfe, remember how *happy* you were to be serving God by caring for your children? How happy it made you to "be there" for them? Why are you complaining?

I appologize. Really I did. Click away from my page. Go ahead, I understand.

I am just sooooo annoyed. I know he's tired, and/or sick (he is starting to turn the corner since he was the first one to get "it"), and needs me. It just sucks. I cannot nurse him all day. I have a baby who needs me for that.

He is also waking up at night and asking for them. Dude? Wtf? Last night he repeated "I want some mooties" for AN HOUR. And I even nursed him twice during that hour and he just. kept. going.

In fact, he has been saying that for the last hour that I have been sitting here in bed. I finally picked up my phone and decided to post.

I know I no longer sound charitable. I understand if this rant makes me the worst mama ever. And if you never want to come back.

But.

I.

Am.

Going.

Crazy.

Want to come?

*le sigh*

I imagine (hope) this will get better. I have decided, for now, nighttime nursing is reserved for the BABY only. I hate to see my boy cry - but I get up enough as is to nurse during the night. He *is* in fact mature enough to be sleeping and cuddled when he wakes. (Which I've been doing for always.)

Poor kid. It's all my fault.

3am is a great time to blog

No, really. It is.

I am up because I have sick kids. Some kind of fever/headache bug has hit. It started with Lovey on Friday and yesterday bloomed in Flower and the Wobbers.

Now, before you click away because you don't want to hear me get all complain-y (yes, I just made up that word), let me tell you I'm actually happy about this.

No, I am not the extremely-pious-holier-than-thou-type parent/Catholic/Christian either (so you don't have to click away because of *that*)....but....really I had an epiphany about this sick kid thing:

I am thankful for the opportunity to serve. I am thankful to God for these babies and the chance to comfort them, which is only made possible by God's Will for my life and His Grace.

And that makes me joyous.

And a little sleep deprived.

But seriously - living out my vocation brings me joy, even (and sometimes especially) in what our secular world would call the "crappy" moments.

I did not grow up with lots of caring and comfort from my parents, especially when I was sick. Having a sick kid was considered a major inconvenience to them and I/we were constantly reminded of such when we were ill. No one "babied" me/us or took the extra time to make sure I/we were as comfortable as possible. It was pretty much "you can stay home from school but you're on your own". To be fair, I'm sure (or I hope) part of that was due to important things like "someone has to go to work to make the money or we won't eat"....but, I digress.

Being able to care for my children in completely unselfish ways (when I'd rather be doing anything else than getting puked on) has a healing quality to those childhood wounds I picked up telling me I wasn't worth it. (I grew up with a *profound* belief that I was not worthy of anything good, especially love and time or praise.) It feels good to give them the reinforcements that tell them, in not so many words, "YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND LOVED" and "I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU" - even let you puke in my lap or have a nose-bleed all over my shirt (3 of those today!!) just because it comforts you and is easier for you to have to endure this crap in your mama's arms.

So even though I wish I had 6 extra hands today, and two extra laps (mama's lap is prime real estate around here when everyone is sick), I am happy, joyful even. God is good. He has surrounded me with soooo much love, so many reminders of my worth to Him (in the forms of little souls I am responsible for for a little while): it just makes me smile.

:)

As much as I would love 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep....

I cherish this time spent alone with my child, where I am the only one who can meet her needs as she roots around with her face, in the dark, totally trusting I will be there to comfort and reassure her.

I imagine this is how God wishes we would reach for him in times of need - with total, unfailing Trust that He will be there to meet all our needs. There is so much to be learned from the love of a child.

I am eternally thankful for these moments in time - not just because the delicious smell of my baby is intoxicating (it *is*), but also because God has given me the perfect example of His expansive and never ending love for me (wow, *me*) by allowing me to have this wonderful child to love who depends on me for everything.

Watching her sleep in the peaceful dark while and after she nurses are the most rewarding moments of my day.

Dropping The Ball

Crap. I believe I said "every day or every other day.". Well, it's been 4 days. :P

I am realizing I haven't posted because the week started out kinda crappy. Since I didn't post for the week, how about a recap, crap and all?

Monday - My husband's ex-wife somehow managed to convince a judge to award her child support after 8 years of 50/50 placement. She under-reported her income (yes, we (our lawyer) pointed this out to the court, yes we asked that documentation be shown, no they didn't care) and the court "evened-out" the households based on this. Never mind *my* four children who need their father's income. Or the fact that her kids wear designer clothes and we shop at goodwill/st vincent's.

I am trying to keep Faith. Faith that God will not let my family go hungry, that He will not make us choose between electricity and food or gas in the car. Maybe that is the humble lesson for me to take in all this. Maybe He just wants me to let go and Believe.

Tuesday - Haircut. This always happens after the baby comes. I love my hair long, hate it short. But it is now short. I just don't have time for it to be long. It's ok. I feel like I already have a good hold on "old lady hair". You know, short and curly. That's me. I feel like an old lady with this haircut. But it's easy.

We followed the haircut with a super-huge grocery restock in the Big City.

We finished the evening at the polls. Can I just say I am very pleased at how things turned out here. I had posted on my FB page that day the following:

"Fwd: Make sure to forward to all your voting friends. The new law is: Republicans are to vote on Tuesday. Democrats vote on Wednesday."

In our midwestern state, the democrats got the message!

Wednesday - Stayed home all day to recharge from the busy and long previous day. Baby doesn't like to be out that much and she just needed to be in familiar surroundings and be far from the carseat.

I got into a "debate" with some "pro-choicer" on another friend's FB page. My friend (pro-life) had started with a pro-life status/debate/situation. I commented. I said I call pro-choice what it really is: pro-death. Another midwife (really) called me an idiot. She says pro-choice is not pro-death, blah, blah, blah. 69 comments ensued. I had to leave it alone at about the 17 mark to make dinner/do bedtime. A self-defined "pro-life christian" pulled the rape/incest card and would not drop that there HAD to be this exception. It was pretty interesting to read. I wonder how an abortion would un-rape someone? Anyway - I could go on and on about it here.....but instead you'll probably just get some posts regarding abortion in the next few weeks.

Thursday - Local homeschool group. I think I've been meaning to blog about how awesome this is for a while. It just keeps slipping my mind. A new family moved to the area and sought out other homeschoolers. She united those of us that were already here and we've been meeting every week at the local park on Thursday mornings for about 10 weeks. This week we switched to the gym at a local private Lutheran school (one of the families are parishoners there and the pastor homeschooled his kids so they let us use it FOR FREE!!) It's lovely and warm.

It is so nice to fimally know some families. I have made some local friends and I know my 10 year old is loving having some "guys" to play with.

After that we went to go get the teenager from building school and stopped at the chiropractor. It's been a long time since my last adjustment and it was really nice.

On the way home we stopped by the Amish woodshop and picked up a very, very late birthday present for my toddlers. They are constantly fighting over the only chair that we have with our wooden table. For their birthdays (in August) my aunt sent me the money to purchase another. I finally made it there on Thursday. The kids are very excited to each have their own chair.

Oh! And I got my last installment of the Sunshine Yarns Harry Potter Yarn Club in the mail!! "Unforgivable Curse" was the colorway and it is beautiful. I did not like the last two, so I was very happy to like this one. I am trying to trade them on Ravelry for skiens of the latest one. Wish me luck!

Friday (today) - First Friday Mass with our Catholic homeschool group. Boy did I wa to skip this today!! I finally said the following prayer to God after a shitty morning (and a crappy night of sleep last night):

God....I am getting a cold, the kids are fighting, and First Friday Mass is an hour and a half drive away with a newborn that hates cars and no husband to drive me. Today would be a great day to skip Mass. I implore You: I will drive us to Mass. You take care of the rest. Thank You.

And He did!! My baby slept peacefully all the way to town, even with a stop at the gas station. Her Godmother held her all through Mass and she didn't cry. I was able to *kneel* during the Consecration (it's been ages since I could - always holding someone or too pregnant) and I got to put my older daughter in the sling when we stood which she loved. My 2 year old boy clung to his "godsister" all through Mass and managed to not get into too many things. :) I am going to have to ask for God's direct help more often.

How was your week?

What I've Been Up To......

Lovey says, "Baby Sister."

She opened her eyes, for a minute.

Closed again. But Cute.

Taking baths.

Supervising naps. It's an important job.

One of *Those* Nights

My children are driving me crazy.

My belly aches. It's heavy. And my ligaments are all being pulled. I feel sore.

I have to pee every 5 minutes. And it's only like a tablespoon. Annoying.

Right now my 2 toddlers are wrestling/arguing over some toy car on the floor in their room. I am completely unmotivated to stop it. She won't let go of his truck, and he won't let go of her.

The dog seems very relaxed. He is laying on the couch. Just kind of grrrred to himself, probably from the noise of the kids.

Just yelled at the Flower to give him the truck and come here.

It didn't work.

Big kid and Dad are playing some racing video game downstairs. It sounds like a big fan is swirling around the house.

Wow, I have never seen the toddlers so angry.

What's it going to be like when I have another??

She finally listened and came here. I told her to play with the stroller and her babies.

What are my kids doing up this late, you ask? Oh, I haven't told you yet?

I don't sleep when I am pregnant. Therefore, my kids don't sleep well either. As much as I try to put them to bed earlier than myself (at a regular time), they just fall into my pattern and stay up with me. They do eventually go to sleep, usually a few hours before me. The bonus of them going to bed at 12 is that they sleep till 11. So if I don't fall asleep until 4 or 6 (or later lots of mornings) I at least get to sleep till 10 or 11 every morning. Not so great when I fall asleep at 7, but at least everybody else is asleep.

Now Lovey has his truck and Flower is crying. Gotta run.

Sorry for the dump. Just had to tell someone. Sometimes it sucks. It will not always be like this, I know. But right now......*sigh*.

(And now she's happy again. Hug from Dad fixes it all.) :)

It's the "Dad Life" - Hee Hee!!

Saw this over at Thy Will Be Done. Awesome! Too Funny!!

Really??

I came across this article on a friend's facebook page.

Seriously?! Breastfeeding is "creepy"?! WTF is wrong with people? It's a boob. They are not "fun bags". Why would you even refer to your breast as a fun bag? Whoever wrote the "creepy" article really needs to get her head examined and figure out what problem she has with her view of her own sexuality.

Recently, a breastfeeding discussion crept up on another blog I read. The big question was "Should women cover up when nursing in public?". Anyone who reads my blog on a regular basis knows I am all for breastfeeding.

I made the comment that I never, ever, ever cover up when nursing. I got a little backlash for that. Things like, "why wouldn't you cover up?" and "there's no reason NOT to cover up".

Instead of keeping that discussion going on forever in my friend's blog comments, I think I will make my position very clear here.

****A woman should breastfeed in whatever way makes her comfortable.*****

That's it. Bottom line. Whatever makes you more likely to breastfeed anywhere your baby needs/wants (they are the same thing when your child is a baby, needs and wants) to - do it.

If you are more comfortable covered up in public, cover up. If you are more comfortable not covering up, then don't. It's about your comfort feeding your baby. It is not about anyone else, what anyone else thinks (myself included), and what anyone else's ideas are. It is about you feeding your baby. The end.

I know women who would feel totally weird having other people watch them breastfeed. I also know some women who would feel like they were drawing waaaaay too much attention to themselves and the feeding by throwing a blanket over the whole thing.

Personally, I don't cover up. It's more attention getting for me to cover up than to just feed the baby. And to be honest, I need to see my baby and my breast in order for her/him to get a good latch and for me to know that they are not suffocating under my rather large mammaries. I actually have to hold the breast off of their nose or they can't breathe.

But really, how much breast is exposed when you nurse? Once your baby is latched on there is hardly anything there anyway. The nipple and areola are completely in their mouth and your shirt is pretty much covering the rest of your boob. (Yes, I use the very un-feminist word "boob" in my house. Sue me.)

I have heard from many, many people "reasons" why I and other women should cover up. We're "creating sin in the minds of men and boys". We have a "responsibility to be modest".

Bull. I have a responsibility to feed my child. I am not "whipping out my boob" or my "fun bags" to do a lap dance or get men turned on. And I have issue with the term "whipping it out". What exactly is that? Does anyone actually do that? That phrase would imply to me that there was some kind of fast movement about it and that I was shaking it all over for everyone to see. Lemme tell you, there ain't nothing fast about unhooking/unclipping a nursing bra and then trying to pull up your shirt in one motion. It's not whipping, and it's not sexy. It just is what it is.

One of the commenters over at the other blog said (and I quote, emphasis mine) "I am not a modest person. ...... BUT I do not want to see it, and it does make me nauseous." Really? You admit to NOT being modest (and I have ventured over to her blog in the past....and nope, she ain't modest one bit in her choice of clothing) but you have a problem with breastfeeding?

People use band-aids and string together in an outfit and call it a "bathing suit" BUT I (and others) should feel dirty or immodest because we are feeding our children fully clothed? Get over yourself. I show less skin breastfeeding than a lot of women (and girls too) do going to the store.

So again, if YOU WANT TO COVER UP you should. But you shouldn't do it because you feel guilty or dirty or someone tells you that you should.

If YOU DON'T WANT TO COVER UP, then don't.

No one, especially another mother, should tell any other woman what the "right" way to nurse is. The right way is whatever way makes it most comfortable for YOU.

Random Thursday, Mostly Knitting Edition...some other stuff

I bought some yarn off a fellow raveler recently. I got a bag of Malabrigo scraps (to make scrappies of course (that's scrappy longies)), a bag of sock yarn scraps (um? baby booties, etc), and a skein of Malabrigo Sock in colorway Solis.

It arrived, and it is beautiful of course. But it smells. Bad. By bad, I mean not bad like fish or rotten eggs. I mean like heavily perfumed or febreezed (however you spell febreeze). It smells like she had some air freshener right in her yarn storage. All the yarn has this heavy, heavy scent on it. I am sure it will wash out in blocking. But it's obnoxious.

~~~~~~

I decided to wind up and knit the Malabrigo Sock yarn.

I realize now why it was discounted by this woman. The yarn is possessed. Really.

I had my husband and son help me wind. My hubby played the swift and Wobbs held the ball winder (because hubby didn't want to get out of his chair and their was no table near it to put the wonder on).

As soon as I unwrapped the skein, I could see the yarn was tangled. We carried on anyway. About 3/4 of the way through I had to grab the other end of the yarn and start untangling it back to the end that was wound up. It took us an hour.

Then, since the skein looked pretty bad I thought I would rewind it. I've done this with other skeins. No biggie. Just set the skein down, pull the middle out, and start winding it again. Right??

Wrong.

The skein FLEW OFF THE BALL WINDER. Twice. Now I had 3 little saggy balls of yarn connected by strings to one another, with tangles, again.

An hour later all was well. I started a pair of socks. I hope they do not start on fire while I am wearing them. I think I will block them in Holy Water.

~~~~~~

I am using my 9 inch circular needles for the socks. So far so good. Let's see if they cramp up my hands or if I like them after 6 inches of knitting 3x3 rib.

~~~~~~

Crocheted Baby Blanket is finished. I had just enough yarn to finish it. It was promptly picked up by my 3 year old daughter and wrapped around one of her babies. Problem solved.

~~~~~~

While I was at a friend's house yesterday my husband moved the twin bed from the kids' room into our room. Yes!! Finally. I have been bugging him to do this forever. My daughter slept in her own bed (in my room, but whatever) last night. Woo Hoo!! My 1 year old boy slept there too for about 1/2 the night. Pretty good. It was at least long enough that my husband and I were able to enjoy some "quality time" alone, in our own bed. Good enough for me!

I do have to admit, it was weird having all that space in the bed. I am sure I'll get used to it just in time for the arrival of my new baby. (And I missed my little boy! I am glad he came over later.)

~~~~~~

I loved all the comments on the movie reviews. I don't know if I'll be doing any more in the future. Those two movies were just on my mind to say something about, don't know why.

~~~~~~

Will Steve just get back from college already so that we don't have to deal with Joe anymore?? Really. Can't stand Joe.

~~~~~~

And, the best news EVER! Look what I got in the mail from EatSleepKnit:


It's all Malabrigo! I got 2 skeins of Cactus Flower (lighter pink in the picture, although it is by no means light, it's very vibrant pink!), 3 skeins of Purple Mystery, which is a wonderful jewel-tone purple, and 6 skeins of Geranio, the really deep toned pink in the picture. I love them all and they coordinate beautifully with each other.

Plans are for longies, a sweater, a couple of hats, and misc. baby items with this yarn. I may also squeeze out a toddler sweater of the Geranio for my (big) little girl. I can't wait to knit with this yarn. I wound up 2 of the Geranio, 2 Purple Mystery, and 1 Cactus Flower yesterday at a friend's house. No possessed yarn here (and it doesn't smell!!).

Dear Walgreens,

WTF? What happened to us? We had such a good relationship. You were dependable, always there when I needed you.

For the past year and a half I have enjoyed coming to see you every week, sometimes every two weeks. I thought about you everyday and reached for your trinkets often.

Did you really think you weren't good enough for me? Did you really think I would stray?

I have been faithful to you. I have bragged about your strengths to my friends and talked you up to the other moms every chance I got. I never faultered in my unwaivering devotion to you. I thought we'd be together forever.

But you changed. I used to think of you as reliable. In fact, no one could hold a candle to the place you achieved within my heart. Now the only words I can use to describe you are smelly, saggy, and leaky. You're size has exploded. Even the kids don't want you around anymore.
Your "New and Improved" diapers suck.

Nipple, Nipple, Nipple, Breast

I read a very funny, and honest, post on Friday over at the Yarn Harlot. Seriously.....go read it. It's the "Really Random Friday" post from 5/7/10 (in case by the time you read this she has posted more).

Apparently, she used the words "breast" and "nipple" in her post the day before, which I read without incidence. Someone, or someones, were offended. I just don't get people. So she posted the next day about how nipple and breast are not dirty words and will not cause anyone to become pregnant or corrupt our youth. "Futhermore," she added (and this is my favorite part),"......I really, really, really think it would have helped if the word nipple wasn't coming up for the first time when we were trying to attach 7 pounds of starving humanity to it." Ha! So right.

This got me thinking about my kids. I breastfeed. I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for the last 5 years and for about 2 years when my 10 year old was born. Breasts are for feeding babies. My kids, especially my 10 year old who has watched me nurse his brother and sister, are very familiar with the words breasts, nipples, etc. We call them "mookies" here, just because that's what Flower calls them - ya know, since that's what they're for.

(**I do think it's just fine that breasts can be a sexual thing too, between a husband and wife. I just don't think that is the only use, nor the main use, reason, or purpose, for breasts and I only talk to my children about the intended use God designed women's breasts for - feeding and nurturing the baby.**)

The mookies are well loved around here. My Lovey cuddles them, hugs them, and gives them kisses when I get out of the shower. My Flower tells me how the baby in my belly "needs to come out and have some mookies". It's wonderful that my babies feel so secure and loved and know that this body part is part of what has nourished them.

I remember when I first had my babies thinking of all those questions that new moms think about, especially how I will answer the questions my own babies ask. My children, of course, are curious to know what every body part is called. I tell them about their eyes, ears, nose, and mouth. We sing "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" (now try to get that tune out of your head). I don't tell them that their eyes are called "peepers" or that their hands are "grabbers". So, I also don't make up words for other parts of their anatomy. A boy has a penis. A girl has a vulva. No, I don't use vagina....but that's because you don't see the vagina. You see the vulva.

The funniest thing ever is Flower talking about penises and vulvas. She is quite chatty these days. She has been interested in the difference between her and her brother since she noticed me changing his diapers when he was a newborn. I think this is normal and natural. She should know that God created two different humans, and that it is ok that we are different and even something to be celebrated. I don't get super in depth with her about this topic just yet. But she is pretty happy just to know this one basic element of boy and girls.

Anywho. Penis and vulva. Flower often likes to tell us all what we have. And she has to say it about everyone when she does. It's sooooo cute. It usually goes like this, "I have a vulva. Lovey has a penis. Daddy have a penis. Mommy have a vuvla. Wobbers have penis. Sum-Sum has vulva. Grandma have a vulva." It is seriously to die for.

She also comments about mookies. I will never forget the morning she woke up and told my husband, "You have mookies. You have little mookies. Mommy have BIG mookies! I have little mookies." All he could say was, "Yep." Of course she followed this with, "You have a penis."

That's my girl.

So, my point in all this is not only to share some kind of funny toddler ramblings with you but also to second the Yarn Harlot in her post about these words not being dirty words. Because they're not. Using these words will not corrupt the world. I don't think they are totally appropriate for every conversation, in every instance. But used the way they are meant to be used, and in context of what you are talking about (the Yarn Harlot used them when talking about the fit of a sweater she was knitting, totally appropriate) they are completely normal and totally fine.

Nipple, nipple, nipple, breast. Vulva. Penis.

Yum, New Yarn

I was rather surprised when my son told me the mail lady was at the front door and needed a signature.

"You have a package."

Um, where's it from?

"Ontario."

Huh?? Ok?

I signed. I looked at the return addresss. It was from the Sweet Sheep Shop. I didn't order anything from the shop. Hmmmm.

Wait?! Oh yes! I did sign up for a Pay It Forward on the Sweet Sheep Blog. And this must be the PIF to me!! Weeee!!

So, I opened it up to find a *beautiful* skein of handspun, hand-dyed bulky "rambouillet" (google it, cause I can't link, but it's a breed of sheep) yarn, colorway "garden". It's greens and oranges, pinks and reds, and a little yellow/sunshine thrown in. (Yes, I realize I am posting no picture. Yes, I know blogs aren't quite as interesting without the pics. I'm sorry. I am restricted by the blackberry.)

Now I am just petting it and looking at how pretty it is.

Nice way to end the week.

Oh? The week, you ask? How's it going?

Let's see.....about the same. Sick of single parenting, tired, and eager for my husband to return tonight.

I managed to see my midwife this week and the same day I had a surgeon remove a lump from my arm that has been growing and living there for about 5 years.

Midwife says get some Vitamin D, baby is doing great, and keep trying to eat. I managed a complete emotional breakdown in her "office" (her house) and she admitted that I look like I'm not doing so good. It was actually nice to hear someone say that, mostly because everyone keeps saying "Oh, you'll be fine. It will get better." I love my midwife.

Surgeon says the lump looks like a lypoma, a benign, fatty tumor. Sending it for pathology just to be safe. I say, "Gee. My arm is effin' sore." And it is. Seriously.

Oh, and my best friend ended up with a mastectomy. She's getting through each day, sometimes an hour at a time.

In which God asks me to submit to His will.....

.....again.

Time to think of names again.

if I have to...

...change one more popcorn poopy diaper, I am going to scream.

And this is why I don't vaccinate.......

This is very funny, but very true also. This is what they put into your vaccines......



Thanks to Sardonic Catholic Dad.

Mowing the Lawn

My husband and I "mow the lawn" occasionally at our house. In the event that we need to keep the subject matter PG, this is terminology we can use without the kids being any the wiser....or other peoples kids if in mixed company.

Not that we talk about mowing the lawn often or with people we don't or do know. We're not perverts. Just every now and then, especially with close friends (mostly my close friends and I talking alone) the subject comes up.

So at our house it's "mowing the lawn". If you're not following, I'm not talking about grass or any outdoor activity (although some people, somewhere, probably do consider this an outdoor activity). When I talk of the "fruits" of our gardening.....I don't mean flowers, even though we call one of our children Flower. I mean kids. You get it now.

Ok.

So, my husband and I decided to mow the lawn. The babies were asleep in our bed, and the big kid was downstairs playing video games. We settled on the babies room. It was empty and convenient.

We learned a few things:

1) We are not as young as we once were.
2) Carpet sucks.
3) We really like the cushioning of our bed.

We also learned why we hate toys that talk. Case in point.

My husband's mother bought this for our Flower for her first Christmas. We were going to throw it out, but we kept it around. She never played with it. It's been almost 3 years.

My Lovey really likes this toy. It says things like, "Green Hand." "Blue Ear." See the picture? You get it. It says it's body parts when you press them. When it's in the "music" mode it plays songs, etc.

When you press it's tummy it says, "Tummy".

So, we're mowing the lawn. On the HARD floor, which really hurts. Trying really hard to be real quiet. Out of nowhere, the little dog says, "Yellow Foot."

I laugh. My husband laughs. We continue.

No one touches the toy. A few minutes later......

Out. Of. Nowhere.

"You're my friend!"

Now let me tell you, I was almost in tears at this point, I was laughing so hard. I also noticed that my lower back was screaming at me to get up.

Still, must go on.

Out of nowhere, the lawn mower stops. I didn't even hear anything and I gave my husband what I'm sure was a "wtf are you doing???" kind of look when again an interruption occurred.

He says, "Yes?"

Wobbs says, "Are you guys in there?"

I think, "Here's your sign."

Hubby says, "Yes."

Wobbs - "Are you OK?"

No dude. We're not ok. Go away.

Hubby says, "Go watch a movie."

Wobbs - "Ok. Just checking on you."

Ugh.

Must Stick To the Plan!

I am keeping to the no nap rule. However with the addition of Daylight Savings Time (read post about this crazy thing here) and Daddy moving his work schedule to nights, the inevitable has happened:

We are now sleeping while we eat. Yes folks, this is My Petite Flower, asleep with her hand in her macaroni & cheese, head bobbing like, well, a bobble head. You can't see her bobbing because this is just a two-dimensional photograph. But I assure you, bobbin' it was.

I rather like the "macaroni in the front of her dress" look. The new fall fashion for toddlers - coming soon to a kitchen near you.

She did finally keel over and get into a deep snooze. So deep, in fact, that when I took the tray away, did the dishes, and came back to her, she was still asleep. I gave her a rather vigorous rubbing with a wet washcloth (to get all the cheese off, for Pete's sake!) and she still slept. I decided she must be very tired to stay asleep through that and transferred her to the couch.

So now, it is midnight and guess who's still awake? *SIGH* I guess we'll try again tomorrow.

~H

And The Verdict Is.....

No naps. Definitely a BIG FAT NO. As in, "I hate the days that my daughter naps and then stays up until 11pm or later!" Like today.

It wasn't even on purpose today. I was holding My Little Man and he was asleep. I was on the phone, talking to my dear friend C., whom I haven't spoken with in a while, and My Petite Flower climbed up onto my lap. Pretty normal. Happens all the time.

However, I was distracted by the phone call and didn't realize she was snuggling in to me to fall asleep. 'Cause guess what? That's exactly what happened. And by the time I realized it I just couldn't bring myself to wake her up.

About an hour after this I had to move because I could no longer feel my legs, er, I mean, I had to drive my son's friend home from his "playdate" at our house. Even after I picked her up and set her down uncomfortably on the ottoman......she still slept. Oh well.

So definitely, completely, totally (feelin' a little 80's tonight) going for NO NAPS. None. Zero. Zip. Nada.

~H

Like Nailing Jello to a Tree

Parenting a toddler. Or a teenager for that matter - like nailing Jello to a tree.

You try. You try your best and think very hard about how to proceed. Do I slice the Jello a little thinner? What if I use less water when making it? Shorter nails? Longer nails? A tree with a softer wood maybe?

My dilemma this week is: to nap or not to nap?

I've talked often of my issues with sleeping and waking times, here and here - both my own and that of my children. After much hell, er very strict practice, I have gotten into the habit of being up by 8am at the latest in the morning, but usually by 6:30 or 7. My baby gets up with me, the Wobbers gets up about 1/2 hour after I do, no doubt from hearing me muse about the kitchen, and My Petite Flower....well that's the issue. Sometimes she gets up with me and sometimes I let her sleep a little. But usually within the hour of my waking, she's up. That is not, per se, the issue.

It's the problem after she's awake. She's up by 8 or 9 most days, sometimes 7.

If she doesn't get a nap, she's pretty darn cranky by about 6 pm. If she is allowed to sleep then, she sleeps till 8 or so then is up until 12 or 1, which I can no longer handle now that I am not pregnant. If I attempt to drag her through the crankiness not allowing her rest, I can give her a bath at 8, be reading books at 8:30, and lay with her through 15 minutes of crying and she's out by 8:45.

If she does nap during the day, she falls asleep sometime between 1 and 3 PM and sleeps anywhere from 1/2 hour to 2 1/2 hours. As you can imagine, this poses some issues. But the real issue is then she doesn't want to go to bed until around 10 or 11. I can still give her the bath at 8 and try for bed by 9, but the results are fruitless. We end up sitting in bed with me very angry and her making lots of blabbering noises to herself because she's not tired. So we get up and I wait until she is tired at 10 or 11. Then sleep is a little easier.

All of these nights, nap or no, are compounded with the problem of trying to get her asleep while keeping My Little Man either asleep or at least content. If he's already asleep, it's great. I can rest him on my chest and cradle her in my left arm. If he's not asleep and wants to nurse, then I have to try and nurse him while she's trying to fall asleep, all the while having her say, "Arm, arm, arm. Arm. Arm!" Meaning - give me your arm to sleep, Mama. While I say, "In a minute. I've got to nurse Little Man (I say his name here actually, but I'm trying to keep it off the blog). I'll give you my arm when he's done." She doesn't like this one bit. So she tries to grab my arm or thrashes around on the bed a bunch. If she would just calm down and let me nurse him, he'd fall asleep and then we could all sleep. *sigh* But she's just a little girl and doesn't get that. She annoys him by rubbing her hands all over his head, which annoys me, which makes no one relax.

Bottom line: I have to make a decision. Do I go for the nap in the afternoon and deal with a later bedtime OR do I forgo said nap and keep my sanity at night but deal with extreme crankiness?

Things that make you go hmmm.

~H